"Escape"

the walls called life are closing in on me
the chains of previous mistakes bite hard and won't let go
the messanger who brought me lies comes again
he says hes found a way out
he says hes come to take me there
he pulls out a blindfold and covers my eyes
he hands me something
i can feel its cold harshness against the palm of my hand
suddenly theres a burning in my wrist
i rip off the blindfold and see a knife in my hand and a cut on my wrist
the messanger tells me this is the temporary "escape" until i'm ready for the real thing
he leaves me there with nothing but my chains
...the knife
...and these terrible ominous walls...always coming closer...squeezing tighter
i cut myself again...the pain goes through my entire body as if it weren't a regular knife...
it hurts...but at least i finally feel something again...or is it for the first time...?
everytime i do it...again and again and again...
the walls creap in closer squeezing tighter around my heart
i hide my wrists from the world...not that it matters
the "world" hates me for being alive...so i return the favor
i do everthing i can to bite back for every time it bites me...i claw at it for every time it slashes my heart
the messanger comes back while i'm making this cold...unforgiving knife my friend
he says its time for the final escape...my heart skips a beat...finally
he lifts my friend just as cold and harsh as ever to my throat and tells me its the answer...its the only "escape"
but then a young child appears and tells me there's another way...the child points to a rope just above my head...how could i have not seen it...?
i reach for it but the chains hold me back
the child tells me to let go of the chains and give them over to "Him"
the child tells me how "He" long ago gave up his life in place of anyone who wants "His" gift
"but how" i asked
suddenly there was a bright light...the messanger coward...the child smiled
from the light came a "Man"
"He" had holes in "His" hands..."His" feet...and in "His" side
"His" forehead was covered in scars
"He" reached out "His" hands and took hold of mine...it was then that i realized that the chains weren't attached to me...i was holding on to them
i tried to hide my wrists...but i couldn't
"He" saw them and a tear went down "His" face...then another...until he was sobbing...
i realized that "He" had what i wanted...the one and only true "escape"
i let go of my chains..."He" put them on "His" back...a back i saw covered in scars...scars that had names in them...name after name after name...
yet each "He" bore with a smile...each "He" bore with the sense of wanting to...
the messanger began to say something...but i couldn't hear him
all i could do was look into "His" face...it was full of peace...and sorrow...and joy all at the same time
"He" lead me to the rope
i reached for it...but i still couldn't reach
the messanger was there in an instant..."see" said he "its all a lie take my way"
he handed me the knife
the walls...those terrible forces of depression...were so close it was all i could do to breath
i had to make a choice...i wanted the rope...but the messanger pushed the knife at me
my hand held the knife and trembled...with the messanger talking in my ear i nearly didn't hear the child say "ask "Him""
i turned to "Him"..."He" had been waiting there the whole time...tears still trickling down "His" face
all i could do was form one word..."please..."
"He" reached over and wrapped "His" loving arms around me...the second i felt "His" touch the knife fell from my hand and the messanger disappeared with a sceam...like that of a demon being drawn back into the lake of fire
"He" lifted me up so i could reach the rope...it became so easy i wondered why i hadn't reached it before
the child looked up at the men and walked away...on some new task
"He" just stood there and watched..."His" loving eyes always on me
...it had finally happened...i had "escaped"